Nothin' Like a Sunday Afternoon !

I don't know what it is, but it's really nothing like a Sunday afternoon! I mean the perfect 75-80 degree weather, barebque smokin', pool splashing, fire hydrant playing, kicking it on the porch, chill with family type of day. I'm a church girl so for me it's nothing like coming home after a day or singing or worshipping to relax on a beautiful sunday afternoon with or without my family whether it be in or outdoors (mainly outdoors though lol). As long as I see the sun glistening (chill, I didn't look directly at it lol), blue skys and a well lit city, that makes my day! And if you had a productive week, Sunday can produce side-affect feelings of accomplishment throughout the day.

The 'secret' revealed behind Sunday's awesomeness could possibly be because it's the one day that people aren't anxious to do something or to get somewhere. People are more relaxed than usual, especially with a majority of businesses and jobs closed or closing early. It also could be the fact that it is a day of thought, as one is mentality preparing for the week ahead of them. Sunday afternoon is also the time of the day where a drinker's hangover digresses and the appetite is slowly regained, LOL. Who knows? There will always be a mystery behind Sunday!

-andweout.

The Pefect Guy or The Pefect Lie?

Many women nowadays are attracted Mr. Awesome-Contradition. You know who I'm talking about ! That bad ass, aggressive, stand out guy who's also nice, caring, even-tempered and affectionate; all at the same time. He's loved because he's a man with no regrets about his ill-temper or his constant lying. Those traits make him a sweetheart to you because he being himself and "keeping it real". He might not have a job, but his music career will take off any day now. He didn't get his highschool diploma but he's not super dumb because he was only one credit shy of graduating. Or he could have a house/car/job/education but something might be wrong with you. That's okay though, you like it when he tell you your flaws. That means he cares, right? Now you remember that guy :].

The annoyance with Mr. Awesome-Contradition is that woman either meet this guy and redate him constantly in his various forms (same style different guy), or are still in an on/off relationship with this guy. The one who is in control of a relationship is the one with the least amount of feelings for the other person and that almost always is Mr. Awesome-Contradition.

I ask is it the 'perfect guy or  perfect lie' because I wonder, how are you ladies depicting your standards?
Do you cluster what you want and need into the same list of  general requirements for a potential boyfriend? He can't be bad yet good. Do you really want a bad guy? Or do you just want a man with a more liberal, individualized personality? Do you want a thug/insecure bully or somebody who's humble but you know will protect you when needed?

If he was a good boyfriend back in the early stages of dating and gradually demoted himself to the inconsist douche that he is now, don't dwell back on the past! You would hate for an elderly person to say, "Back in my day.." every five mins right? If you are the disrespectful type, you'd probably say something like " Well, we don't live back in your day!" What makes you think reminsicing on your past is any different? Are you telling your self you're happy d because he told you what you wanted to hear in the beginning... even if it's not what's being portrayed  in your relationship now?

Either he has goals or not. If he's been working at the same burger joint for three years, is over 21, and has told or shown you no plans of advancement whether it be school, starting an actual career of his choice or something else with a better pay grade, don't you think you should reevaluate ?

If he only wants to be around you when you two have your big bi-weekly argument and you talk about breaking it off, shouldn't that ring a bell in your boyfriend-dependant head? LOL, I guess not if you're boyfriend-dependant. I bet it's all good after he reassures you that he loves you and that you're the only person for him. :/

Majority of the time men get away with these type of acts because a good amount of women allow it. Some women would rather work on a failure that has been intact for three years, before or after moving in, making kids, instead of clensing their train of thought, starting over and finding someone who's actually worth it. Alot of times, it's also the sex ! Either you lost your virginity to him or the sex is just that good. Some single women in return will claim to have these standards and find themselves in a love-hate relationship shortly after claiming that they want this good, wholesome guy which is really a lie a last place consideration compared to a bad, douchey kind of jerkish inconsistant guy.

And to those kinds of ladies, you can have your cake and eat it too but you always get a tummy ache afterwards.

-andweout

Natural Black Hair: Is It Really As Bad As We Make It?

The fashion world is changing again. With the help of Tyra, Chris Rock and Wendy Williams, african-american hair is being viewed under a heavy spot light. Even more heavy than what it has already been. I didn't consider it a big deal until one day a random woman typed on a hair forum, "Child, I could never go natural. It's too much work and I wouldn't look right." Cough. How does one GO natural?! How do you GO with what is already growing out of your head?

The sad reality is that instead of people cringing when they hear the words perm or relaxer, they cringe at the thought of their own natural hair. People think of lint ball afros, thick dry matted hair or unkempt locs when they think of natural.Then there's the helmet crew. Those are the people who have chemically unaltered hair sitting underneath wigs and weaves or inbetween braided extensions. It's always the worse scenarios when people think about certain topic, whether it be a high schooler envisioning college or an umeployed bloke nervous about an interview. Many people figure the only women who can "go natural" are those with looser curl patterns like Tracie Ellis Ross or Corinne Bailey Rae. Then there's the helmet crew. The people who have chemically unaltered hair sitting underneath wigs and weaves or in between braided extensions.

Truth is, natural hair is beautiful. It's beautiful if it's well kept and cared for. A perm is just another mere marketing technique for individuals who believe straight hair is the only way to view hair as beautiful and manageable. Another truth is that the are chemicals that you pour onto your head: who knows down the line whether this can affect you by having cancer or some other ailment? Not cool, bubby.  Many women tend to believe, " My ends are fine, my hair isn't breaking off and it's soft so my hair is healthy." Yea, it's "healthy" until you miss a touch up. Your "elaxed hair is healthy, NOT your natural hair. 

Natural hair is just as versatile as straightened hair, you want curls? You've got it! You wet set achieve spiraling curls like Corinne does as well as Bantu-Knotting your tresses at night and take it out in the morning. Black hair isn't brittle... if you moisturize. Black hair is also cheaper. You can deep conditoner and hot oil your hair at home and it could only take fifteen minute to an hour. You can pin up your hair in different styles like the girl in the picture above. Nothing a little gel or wet manipulation can't fix. Alot of folk make the mistake of trying to handle nappy hair while it is bone dry. If this was only way to do hair, I'd be weaving it too! Handle hair while it's wet or damp. Less breakage, less hassle.

How many ladies know how to wash and dry their hair properly and without the use of heat? Many relaxed or weaved people envy the hair that some natural people have but realize they have the same curl pattern or texture! But you would know if you constantly use heat on your hair. Damaged ends make anyone's hair look undesirable.

I'm not saying give up weaves, wigs or even relaxers, but the beauty of a woman embracing her own texture is sexy. Ever wondered what happened to that thick long hair of yours as a kid? It's still there. You have have you learn how to take care of it and grow it back. You don't have to just where an afro, braids, or twists when your hair is in a natural state. Be creative. You can't NOT look good with your own hair. That's ridiculous. And P.S. guys dig natural hair heavy. Just wear a style that shapes your face and physique, throw on a bad (good) outfit and see if you don't turn a few heads. You'll probably look refreshed! Less or no make-up is needed when you don't have a helmet swinging across your back!

Friendly Obsession?

So many people are attached to friends. Whether it be by text messaging, phone, internet or in person, people nowadays can't live without friends. It's perfectly healthy to have friends, but is it just as healthy to smother yourself inbetween these same friends? How much is too much communication? Does everyone need to know every aspect of your life on facebook? Does your friend really need to know how you just caught a deal over at Save-A-Lot? Really son, how much is too much?

I don't know the answer to this question but I'm going to tell you some habits that annoy me:

- Please don't call before 12 in the afternoon PERIOD. A text will suffice but don't call me that early unless your liver is falling out your sides.

- Unless we have a bad connection or emergency, don't call me more than twice day. By the third call, I'm not going to have much to say.. there won't be much for me to tell you about my day because I will have spent most of it talking to you. And because I'm not a phone person please don't call me EVERYDAY.

- Keep your sob stories to a minimum. If I never hear anything good from you, what's the point of talking? Misery loves company and I'm all out of vacancies.

- This is one that gets me. I understand that friends need advice, but If you're never going to take my advice and keep asking me for advice for the same situation, it's pointless. That shows me that you just want somebody to be with you in your time of need but not actually do anything about what you've mentioned. And then call me a great friend. Go figure.

- I had friend who got upset because I "ruined" her status by asking her a question on a completely different subject on facebook instead of writing on her wall. .... Please don't involve me in this facebook debacle. Don't ask me why I didn't "like" your status, why my mother "poked" you or why don't I respond to any of your statuses. It's Tedious !

Sometimes folk just need to be alone sometimes. Not having any YOU time can seriously cramp your style by slowly becoming this dependant blob. If you always have to tell somebody something and people always have access to your business, what have you become? Are you a human being or a walking journal with GPS tracking? When a storm comes into one's life and these so-called "friends" fade away,some folk won't know how to act or live. Learn how to do things on your own ! Enjoy a day by yourself. Bury your phone in you purse or back pocket and forget about it for a while. Live a little. And most of all, you can't make new friends if your always smothered underneath the old ones !

- andweout.