Let's face it. At some point in everyone's life, people want to be involved in relationships. Not just friendships, family bonds, or close friends - an intimate relationship leading to love. Support, affection, loyalty.. all derivatives of enjoyable attention. But how many people are actually experiencing true love? How many folk are in serious, yet stable relationships? Word Problem: If he says he's been with his girlfriend for three years, does he mean if he's been with her for a straight three years with no major problems? Or does he mean over a course of three years he's been dating her on and off?
I know all relationships encounter issues. You can not create a union if you don't undergo problems to strengthen the relationship. How serious of problems are people undergoing though? Just last week this person was telling me she was done with him. Now, it's "every couple goes through problems in a relationship." How did her thought pattern shift that quickly and easily?
They main response you hear from a couple when asking why, is "I'm just get back to what we had back in the beginning," or "He or she wasn't always like this." Even though very clear that the person changed personalities in the relationship for the worst, people won't let go of the person they met on the first date or hung out within the first couple of months.
A relationship initially undergoes an interview process. What does one do on a first date? Dress up, neat hair, throw on the perfume/cologne makeup, jewelry- a similar approach when meeting an employer. What does one usually say on an interview? Things that accentuate your personality such as skills, background and whatever else is needed to get the job. Nothing different from a date. Nobody is comfortable the first date no matter how relaxed they appear. No everyone is fully comfortable in the first couple of months in a relationship or in just knowing you. Just like a lot of times in an interview, some people portray what you want to hear and because it feels and sounds good in the beginning, you accept it and appreciate it.
In other words, you might be wanting someone who weren't themselves in the beginning and now that they've morphed back into their own personality that you may not be used to or want, problems arise. Even if they told the person how they were in the beginning about their past, the person man not except that the same thing are happening to them, mainly because the person said "..but I will never do you like I did my last," when clearly he or she did.
Bruh, Sis - you have to accept the fact that she or he might not people able become the person they were again on the first date because that person was never real to begin with ! All my young folk, 26 and under, chances are if you have an off on relationship for a course of years, it aint for you. At our tender age, our minds are constantly changing. We are adjusting to the adult world, while trying to find ourselves in it. Nobody automatically turns into a full mature adult when 18 or 21. I'm not saying that happen after 26, but at 26 you are really trying things anymore as much as repeating. There are less things that are new to you. They are things you'll try because it seems "exciting" or "exclusive to the adult world."
We as a whole are basing some of these long term relationships as a high standard when those same relationships should have never even escalated from the friendship level. More of us are growing up with single parents who may have had their kids in a car, prom, Grandma's house, with anyone but with their husband. That's why more people cherish and appreciate elderly people's love. Elderly folk went through problems in their relationships at times, but a good portion knew how to work it out and if they didn't they'd split and remarry someone they could work it out with. They wouldn't mess with a person that they truly couldn't see themselves spending the rest of their lives with. Elderly people's marriages are the relationships that people look up to, but are too impatient to wait for, so they try settling with someone who they think it could possibly work out with. Instead of true happiness, they end up being in a relationship they've been in on and off, eventually conceiving kids or engaging in something else (losing virginity) that makes them feel inseparable and more attached. So my question again to you is, is it a stable relationship or a chemical imbalance?
-andweout
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