virtual reality

facebook keeps the face hooked
it's pretty much a debate book..
drama bout the two-timers or who's finer,
who's the father or who's a ryda,
kin drama or {insiders},
..and we all know insiders are wacky,
 just a lame attempt to get attention if you ask me.
but who asked me, exactly? that's the next thing they'll say..
tip number one: if i cant reply don't put it on public display.
tip two: don't get cocky, cause i know the facebook attacks won't pop off when you spot me. 
typing about you wanna fight me? not likely.
you've been a snake all your life, even your thoughts are shiesty. 
and i don't care if you're wifey, i'm not flirting with your man, we're just typing. 
oversensitive folk are the ones all over this but shook
..you know it, i know it.. but yet we're still on the [face]book.

Nothin' Like a Sunday Afternoon !

I don't know what it is, but it's really nothing like a Sunday afternoon! I mean the perfect 75-80 degree weather, barebque smokin', pool splashing, fire hydrant playing, kicking it on the porch, chill with family type of day. I'm a church girl so for me it's nothing like coming home after a day or singing or worshipping to relax on a beautiful sunday afternoon with or without my family whether it be in or outdoors (mainly outdoors though lol). As long as I see the sun glistening (chill, I didn't look directly at it lol), blue skys and a well lit city, that makes my day! And if you had a productive week, Sunday can produce side-affect feelings of accomplishment throughout the day.

The 'secret' revealed behind Sunday's awesomeness could possibly be because it's the one day that people aren't anxious to do something or to get somewhere. People are more relaxed than usual, especially with a majority of businesses and jobs closed or closing early. It also could be the fact that it is a day of thought, as one is mentality preparing for the week ahead of them. Sunday afternoon is also the time of the day where a drinker's hangover digresses and the appetite is slowly regained, LOL. Who knows? There will always be a mystery behind Sunday!

-andweout.

The Pefect Guy or The Pefect Lie?

Many women nowadays are attracted Mr. Awesome-Contradition. You know who I'm talking about ! That bad ass, aggressive, stand out guy who's also nice, caring, even-tempered and affectionate; all at the same time. He's loved because he's a man with no regrets about his ill-temper or his constant lying. Those traits make him a sweetheart to you because he being himself and "keeping it real". He might not have a job, but his music career will take off any day now. He didn't get his highschool diploma but he's not super dumb because he was only one credit shy of graduating. Or he could have a house/car/job/education but something might be wrong with you. That's okay though, you like it when he tell you your flaws. That means he cares, right? Now you remember that guy :].

The annoyance with Mr. Awesome-Contradition is that woman either meet this guy and redate him constantly in his various forms (same style different guy), or are still in an on/off relationship with this guy. The one who is in control of a relationship is the one with the least amount of feelings for the other person and that almost always is Mr. Awesome-Contradition.

I ask is it the 'perfect guy or  perfect lie' because I wonder, how are you ladies depicting your standards?
Do you cluster what you want and need into the same list of  general requirements for a potential boyfriend? He can't be bad yet good. Do you really want a bad guy? Or do you just want a man with a more liberal, individualized personality? Do you want a thug/insecure bully or somebody who's humble but you know will protect you when needed?

If he was a good boyfriend back in the early stages of dating and gradually demoted himself to the inconsist douche that he is now, don't dwell back on the past! You would hate for an elderly person to say, "Back in my day.." every five mins right? If you are the disrespectful type, you'd probably say something like " Well, we don't live back in your day!" What makes you think reminsicing on your past is any different? Are you telling your self you're happy d because he told you what you wanted to hear in the beginning... even if it's not what's being portrayed  in your relationship now?

Either he has goals or not. If he's been working at the same burger joint for three years, is over 21, and has told or shown you no plans of advancement whether it be school, starting an actual career of his choice or something else with a better pay grade, don't you think you should reevaluate ?

If he only wants to be around you when you two have your big bi-weekly argument and you talk about breaking it off, shouldn't that ring a bell in your boyfriend-dependant head? LOL, I guess not if you're boyfriend-dependant. I bet it's all good after he reassures you that he loves you and that you're the only person for him. :/

Majority of the time men get away with these type of acts because a good amount of women allow it. Some women would rather work on a failure that has been intact for three years, before or after moving in, making kids, instead of clensing their train of thought, starting over and finding someone who's actually worth it. Alot of times, it's also the sex ! Either you lost your virginity to him or the sex is just that good. Some single women in return will claim to have these standards and find themselves in a love-hate relationship shortly after claiming that they want this good, wholesome guy which is really a lie a last place consideration compared to a bad, douchey kind of jerkish inconsistant guy.

And to those kinds of ladies, you can have your cake and eat it too but you always get a tummy ache afterwards.

-andweout

Natural Black Hair: Is It Really As Bad As We Make It?

The fashion world is changing again. With the help of Tyra, Chris Rock and Wendy Williams, african-american hair is being viewed under a heavy spot light. Even more heavy than what it has already been. I didn't consider it a big deal until one day a random woman typed on a hair forum, "Child, I could never go natural. It's too much work and I wouldn't look right." Cough. How does one GO natural?! How do you GO with what is already growing out of your head?

The sad reality is that instead of people cringing when they hear the words perm or relaxer, they cringe at the thought of their own natural hair. People think of lint ball afros, thick dry matted hair or unkempt locs when they think of natural.Then there's the helmet crew. Those are the people who have chemically unaltered hair sitting underneath wigs and weaves or inbetween braided extensions. It's always the worse scenarios when people think about certain topic, whether it be a high schooler envisioning college or an umeployed bloke nervous about an interview. Many people figure the only women who can "go natural" are those with looser curl patterns like Tracie Ellis Ross or Corinne Bailey Rae. Then there's the helmet crew. The people who have chemically unaltered hair sitting underneath wigs and weaves or in between braided extensions.

Truth is, natural hair is beautiful. It's beautiful if it's well kept and cared for. A perm is just another mere marketing technique for individuals who believe straight hair is the only way to view hair as beautiful and manageable. Another truth is that the are chemicals that you pour onto your head: who knows down the line whether this can affect you by having cancer or some other ailment? Not cool, bubby.  Many women tend to believe, " My ends are fine, my hair isn't breaking off and it's soft so my hair is healthy." Yea, it's "healthy" until you miss a touch up. Your "elaxed hair is healthy, NOT your natural hair. 

Natural hair is just as versatile as straightened hair, you want curls? You've got it! You wet set achieve spiraling curls like Corinne does as well as Bantu-Knotting your tresses at night and take it out in the morning. Black hair isn't brittle... if you moisturize. Black hair is also cheaper. You can deep conditoner and hot oil your hair at home and it could only take fifteen minute to an hour. You can pin up your hair in different styles like the girl in the picture above. Nothing a little gel or wet manipulation can't fix. Alot of folk make the mistake of trying to handle nappy hair while it is bone dry. If this was only way to do hair, I'd be weaving it too! Handle hair while it's wet or damp. Less breakage, less hassle.

How many ladies know how to wash and dry their hair properly and without the use of heat? Many relaxed or weaved people envy the hair that some natural people have but realize they have the same curl pattern or texture! But you would know if you constantly use heat on your hair. Damaged ends make anyone's hair look undesirable.

I'm not saying give up weaves, wigs or even relaxers, but the beauty of a woman embracing her own texture is sexy. Ever wondered what happened to that thick long hair of yours as a kid? It's still there. You have have you learn how to take care of it and grow it back. You don't have to just where an afro, braids, or twists when your hair is in a natural state. Be creative. You can't NOT look good with your own hair. That's ridiculous. And P.S. guys dig natural hair heavy. Just wear a style that shapes your face and physique, throw on a bad (good) outfit and see if you don't turn a few heads. You'll probably look refreshed! Less or no make-up is needed when you don't have a helmet swinging across your back!

Friendly Obsession?

So many people are attached to friends. Whether it be by text messaging, phone, internet or in person, people nowadays can't live without friends. It's perfectly healthy to have friends, but is it just as healthy to smother yourself inbetween these same friends? How much is too much communication? Does everyone need to know every aspect of your life on facebook? Does your friend really need to know how you just caught a deal over at Save-A-Lot? Really son, how much is too much?

I don't know the answer to this question but I'm going to tell you some habits that annoy me:

- Please don't call before 12 in the afternoon PERIOD. A text will suffice but don't call me that early unless your liver is falling out your sides.

- Unless we have a bad connection or emergency, don't call me more than twice day. By the third call, I'm not going to have much to say.. there won't be much for me to tell you about my day because I will have spent most of it talking to you. And because I'm not a phone person please don't call me EVERYDAY.

- Keep your sob stories to a minimum. If I never hear anything good from you, what's the point of talking? Misery loves company and I'm all out of vacancies.

- This is one that gets me. I understand that friends need advice, but If you're never going to take my advice and keep asking me for advice for the same situation, it's pointless. That shows me that you just want somebody to be with you in your time of need but not actually do anything about what you've mentioned. And then call me a great friend. Go figure.

- I had friend who got upset because I "ruined" her status by asking her a question on a completely different subject on facebook instead of writing on her wall. .... Please don't involve me in this facebook debacle. Don't ask me why I didn't "like" your status, why my mother "poked" you or why don't I respond to any of your statuses. It's Tedious !

Sometimes folk just need to be alone sometimes. Not having any YOU time can seriously cramp your style by slowly becoming this dependant blob. If you always have to tell somebody something and people always have access to your business, what have you become? Are you a human being or a walking journal with GPS tracking? When a storm comes into one's life and these so-called "friends" fade away,some folk won't know how to act or live. Learn how to do things on your own ! Enjoy a day by yourself. Bury your phone in you purse or back pocket and forget about it for a while. Live a little. And most of all, you can't make new friends if your always smothered underneath the old ones !

- andweout.

4 BIG Tips to Narrow Down Your Match in Online Dating.

Because of the major advancements in technology, many people have now resorted to finding a love connection over a wireless connection. With social networking sites such as Twitter, Myspace, Facebook, Craigslist andGoogle "everything" this make going about this process ten times easier.

Is it really something to be feel creepy about? The answer to that question can be "yes" and "no". Some people have yet to come to the realization that although there is a potential chance, everyone on the computer isn't a killer or a rapist. There were more creepies on computers in the nineties because more people had less access to computers. In present day, computers are something that's found in pretty much any modern household. If not having access to the internt from computers there are also mobile phones, internet pads, and other wifi-enabled devices. Everyone is online. Just as quick as you were to log in to Facebook this morning, so were thousands of others in your city. If you still feel uncomfortable about online dating, my best advice is to stick with your gut instinct and stay home. There are hundreds of other ways to meet single people.

The good thing about online dating is that besides the initial talk, IM or message, you have a profile that is like a gold mine in front of you when considering the next step with a potential candidate. An online profile in the dating world so be thought of as a resume. This is where you get the background and cover letter of a potential person that might make it to the interview portion (dating). Take advantage of it ! Here I have provided four BIG tips on how to narrow down your possible match in online dating. If you want to have a chance at a long term relationship, it's important that you know who you're dealing with.

Tip 1: BE TRUE TO YOURSELF

If you're on a site that has the ability for you to narrow down physical preferences among other traits, keep it real. Nobody should be around you when completing this process. You should be independent enough to make your own decisions on the type of people you date and not worry about someone critiquing your interests. If you're only looking for a person who's a bikini babe or body builder, you're thinking too narrow-mindedly. I understand if you exercize daily you may want to date someone who's body size is similar to yours, but please, make room for adjustment.
Someone who's packing an extra five to ten pounds could be the match for you in all other aspects. The majority of people in America aren't as thin as you think.

Another example would be the educational background. If you're a college graduate whether undergrad, masters, or doctorate level, don't rule out all highschool graduates or anyone else below your degree rank. Pay attention to the job the candidate works for now and how long they've been there. Look to see if they are in school now. If someone has worked their way up in an average to above average company with only a high school diploma or community college credits, that's considered impressive. The willpower and determination in this person is there, whether they went to school or not. Look to see if the person has a city or government job, that also says alot when looking at the stability and income of a job. The thing you should be worried about is if the job is stable and provides an adequate salary for this person to live off of.

Tip 2: PAY ATTENTION

As stated before, another advantage with online dating is usually the valuable information found on profile pages. This includes sites as general as myspace and as detailed as Match.com. You have acess to pictures, comments, a biography, friends, and all other miscellaneous information.

-Don't just skim through the pictures to see if the person is attractive.

Pictures tell a thousand words. Look how they represent themselves in the picture ! If a guy has his middle fingers raised or is showing off his collection of alcohol, that can either tell you what type of guy he is or the type of guy he is trying to portray. Same with a girl who has yet to be seen with more than an inch of clothing in every picture. If these aren't the people you're searching for, it would be advisable pay more attention to a guy in a picture.

- Biography, What does this person have to say for themselves?
READ the biography, see where his or her mind is. Even though everyone can't explain themselves as interesting or detailed as the next, it is still worth a read. Lines such as "DONT MESSAGE ME IF YOU'RE FAT OR UGLY", "MONEY OVER WOMEN" or "WHERE DA PARTY AT?" are good indictors in letting you know whether somebody is narrowminded or not. If somone makes it a prominent point to let you know that the outward appearance is all thier interested in, this person isn't for you. Don't feel flattered becuase you think they think you're attractive because they responded to your message; just back away. They might think you're attractive now, but later on if you meet in the flesh or undergo some changes that travel outside of their preferential boundaries, you might be in trouble.

Check out the grammar! Are they talking in an excessive amount of slang? Profanity? Or aRe dey Juzz typiin liike disZ? This is important if you want your a profressional and don't want your date embarrasing at the next office party or social event you attend.

How do they express themselves? Positive? Negative? If you're a christian and you're lookin for another true christian, somewhere in that person's profile they should mention their religion, their love for jesus or what they do in the church or the community that is of God's word. Any person who is a normal christian would look for indictors that their candidates are heavily in to God.

Also ladies, there's no such thing as "bad guy" who can turn it off when he wants to. If he's a "thug" or "bad guy" in real life, thats's what his personality will portray. That means when and if he gets mad, ya juuust might see that thug side come out. Ever met someone with an anger problem? Drinking problem? Shopping problem? There not a switch enabled on these person to turn off these traits. There has to be a traumtic change in the person's train of thought to shut it off altogether. which may not be you.


-It's not considered stalking, it's considered saving your self.


Consider yourself a case manager. You have the file of John or Jane Wantstodateyou in the from of an online profile. If he or she has a myspace or facebook, READ the comments. See what he or she is talking about. See what he or she into with their friends! See if their up to something illegal, see if what they say in their biography contradicts who they really are. Some may consider it stalking, but bruh, sis.. LOOK: 0nly you know you're doing it and it is better safe than sorry. I say this to say do it BEFORE you date and BEFORE you date ONLY. After you've began the relationship it is considered stalking. You should always be able to trust the person you get into a relationship with enough to not stalk them.

Look at his or her top friends, see what their profiles consists of. Birds of a feather flock together. Now granted somebody may have just put anyone for space fillers on their top 12, but pay attention to the people closest to the number one spot that aren't family unless they only hang with family. With comments, biographies, pictures, and friends you can get more of an idea of what this person's personality might consist of.

Look at the sexual, smoking, diet and child bearing preferences. That fine myspace guy who's digging you could be bisexual. Is that something you're going to be comfortable with? If you're a light smoker, don't believe in smoking or allegeric to smoke, why would you date a heavy smoker? If you don't believe in the slaughtering of animals for food and are a level 5 vegan, would you really want to date someone who scarfs down any type of meat they can get their hands on? Look and see if the person has children, whether they're pregnant or if they even want kids in the future. You may think kids are not something to worry about right now, but if you're a certain age and not getting any younger, this may be a top priority to you.

Tip 3: Ingest all that I said and make sure your profile accurately describes you.

Be real to yourself and write want you need in your biography. Your biography shouldn't be a book or filled with a list of demands but you should write about yourself as much as what you look for in a person. This is the cover letter of your resume, so make it stand out. Saying you you want somebody who's real, doesn;t play and games, and is not drama isn't being descriptive. Everybody will deny those three things. Make sure describe your personality so that you will shine to a person with a similar background.
Put pictures of yourself in your biography that represent the typical you. Upload a picture or two by yourself, but also include pictures of you with others or engaging in hobbies that you enjoy. If you play guitar, have somone take a picture of you while strumming a chord. If you snowboard, have that camera ready on a ski slope! In other words, if you have special or interests or what others to know that you are outgoing, what better way to show in a picture? Visual descriptions can go online way.

-Miscellaneous Tips

Skype is an awesome way to see a person in real-time before you meet. Sometime you can see how compatible you'll be if you talk to someone online face to face. Do this only if you dont get nervous easily on camera. Remember, you want to show your good side. If not, make sure your backround is tidy, appearance is presentable from the neck up and smile :). You're on candid camera.

Also, don't make yourself seem desperate. Don't devote all your time to talk to this person, and don't be so easily to give in to person. The more available, the less attractive.

A movie is the worst first date to go to (unless you've done a social activity before hand). You learn nothing about the person and you hardly get to see them. Try doing something social such as restaurants, pool, bowling, skating, etc.

If you met them on facebook, don't ask the person who their twitter, myspace, blogspot, google maps and anything else they might have. Unless you research on your own, don't ask for all their of their profiles. Facebook has enough information to go off of. Don't make your self look desperate or creepy.

Tip 4: BE SAFE !!!

Last but not least make sure your being safe about things. If the person feels shakey, stay home! Your life is not would losing to your destin for true love. Use common sense!

Use your own transportation. Remember, this person is still somebody you've never met, so find your own way to get there.

Bring extra money. Anything can happen, I don't care if he's paying for your meal or if you have a car full of gas, ladies. This goes along with using common sense.

This concludes my thoughts !

-andweout

stable relationship or a chemical imbalance?

Let's face it. At some point in everyone's life, people want to be involved in relationships. Not just friendships, family bonds, or close friends - an intimate relationship leading to love. Support, affection, loyalty.. all derivatives of enjoyable attention. But how many people are actually experiencing true love? How many folk are in serious, yet stable relationships? Word Problem: If he says he's been with his girlfriend for three years, does he mean if he's been with her for a straight three years with no major problems? Or does he mean over a course of three years he's been dating her on and off?

I know all relationships encounter issues. You can not create a union if you don't undergo problems to strengthen the relationship. How serious of problems are people undergoing though? Just last week this person was telling me she was done with him. Now, it's "every couple goes through problems in a relationship." How did her thought pattern shift that quickly and easily?

They main response you hear from a couple when asking why, is "I'm just get back to what we had back in the beginning," or "He or she wasn't always like this." Even though very clear that the person changed personalities in the relationship for the worst, people won't let go of the person they met on the first date or hung out within the first couple of months.

A relationship initially undergoes an interview process. What does one do on a first date? Dress up, neat hair, throw on the perfume/cologne makeup, jewelry- a similar approach when meeting an employer. What does one usually say on an interview? Things that accentuate your personality such as skills, background and whatever else is needed to get the job. Nothing different from a date. Nobody is comfortable the first date no matter how relaxed they appear. No everyone is fully comfortable in the first couple of months in a relationship or in just knowing you. Just like a lot of times in an interview, some people portray what you want to hear and because it feels and sounds good in the beginning, you accept it and appreciate it.

In other words, you might be wanting someone who weren't themselves in the beginning and now that they've morphed back into their own personality that you may not be used to or want, problems arise. Even if they told the person how they were in the beginning about their past, the person man not except that the same thing are happening to them, mainly because the person said "..but I will never do you like I did my last," when clearly he or she did.

Bruh, Sis - you have to accept the fact that she or he might not people able become the person they were again on the first date because that person was never real to begin with ! All my young folk, 26 and under, chances are if you have an off on relationship for a course of years, it aint for you. At our tender age, our minds are constantly changing. We are adjusting to the adult world, while trying to find ourselves in it. Nobody automatically turns into a full mature adult when 18 or 21. I'm not saying that happen after 26, but at 26 you are really trying things anymore as much as repeating. There are less things that are new to you. They are things you'll try because it seems "exciting" or "exclusive to the adult world."

We as a whole are basing some of these long term relationships as a high standard when those same relationships should have never even escalated from the friendship level. More of us are growing up with single parents who may have had their kids in a car, prom, Grandma's house, with anyone but with their husband. That's why more people cherish and appreciate elderly people's love. Elderly folk went through problems in their relationships at times, but a good portion knew how to work it out and if they didn't they'd split and remarry someone they could work it out with. They wouldn't mess with a person that they truly couldn't see themselves spending the rest of their lives with. Elderly people's marriages are the relationships that people look up to, but are too impatient to wait for, so they try settling with someone who they think it could possibly work out with. Instead of true happiness, they end up being in a relationship they've been in on and off, eventually conceiving kids or engaging in something else (losing virginity) that makes them feel inseparable and more attached. So my question again to you is, is it a stable relationship or a chemical imbalance?


-andweout

double standard much ?

There are a lot of double standards that people live with and accept everyday; especially issues dealing with gender, race and age. My post today deals with the double standards some men set with them and their female family members. My personal viewpoint on sex is that folk should wait until marriage. It's apart of my religion and it also eliminates hurt feelings and future addictions (yes, food and sex are the biggest addictions). I'm aware that fornication outside of marriage is here to stay but why is it that men can date the freakiest, most sexually active women out walking and not see a problem with them but if they have a sister- mainly child, teenager or young adult they suddenly become this overprotective robot (run-on sentence much)?

If I tell a guy I'm a virgin, it's on the next one for him. If his little sister so much to even has a male call her crib, he gives the guy or his sister/cousin/niece a hard time. This brother/cousin/uncle could be a 22 year old, dead beat father with two kids that he doesn't even take care of or hardly knows. Yet he's giving his relative a hard time about guys so that she does get a guy that ends up being like him (without saying that he, himself is that kind of guy ), even if her intentions weren't to have sex with the boy but to see that new hot kiddie flick this weekend.

Even though guys push for this double standard, it can make things a bit worse. Most girls don't stop liking boys, they just become more clever with how and when they meet up with them. They may be more willing to try different sexual activities with a lot of men or even just one guy who may or may not be using her because they can. It's can sometimes be an accomplishment for some people to achieve something when they have already been told that they can't do it.

The best way to set an example for a relative in the dating realm is portraying the person you'd like to see a relative with. Folk are so fixated on worrying about other people when its evident that other people lead by example. You can't make a child become vegetarian if you eat meat ! Think about it.


-andweout.

blockhead.

Today is a day destined for travel.. I want to riiiide somewhere ya know?

I've been this photography bandit for quite some time now, shooting everything I see that captures my artistic view but yet.. (but yet) I still have artist's block! The cost of public transportation in the city will be discounted for the next couple of weeks so that's a relief. But to what part of the city shall I drift to? What should I capture? People? Murals? Congested traffic? Rhetorical question, I know; beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Perhaps I'll devise a scheme while i'm washing my awesomeness ;]

andweout.

mazel tov!

now that we've all had our celebration toasts of koolaide, i just want to say hiya! never would i have though i'd come close to even owning a blogspot. i always thought it was lame to for strangers to have access to you view on the random struggles that you encounter in everyday life. i still think it is so i'll venture off on random issues we all can discuss.. ya know?

information about me is located in the profile, but you will learn more about me along the way anyway. btw i do answer questions so feel free to email me and keep intouch. i'm always down to connect with other folk who posess a dope imagination.

andweout.